Learning Distance

Working up the strength to make something from nothing can oftentimes prove a Herculean task. And when you add on the scores of outsiders who seem to pull out every stop to make sure you fail in your efforts instead of supporting you, sometimes throwing up your hands and just giving up seems more attractive than standing and fighting. Many times over the past six months I’ve found myself in just such a position, too tired to get up after being knocked down by the opposition time and time again. Despite my lethargy, I did manage to get up each time and make an attempt to solider on… Only to be knocked back down again. This will not be the course of the next six months because I have learned that I’ve given my opposition the power to continuously do this. Howso? By repeatedly standing in a space of emotional availability instead of moving safer distances from their antagonistic reach.

A person can’t hit a target that they can’t see, so distance is needed in order to quell the cycle of being pulled back from progression. This may mean “disappearing” from loved ones being used against you, and making yourself unavailable to those who see what’s going on and either aid the opposition or refuse to stand against it. It’s not enough to stand resolutely on your own premise sometimes because certain people who work against you will not be satisfied with your show of tenacity. They care more about how many times they can knock you down before you break and will not hesitate to use any “weapon” against you to achieve this end; family, friends, your very own children. So getting out of their reach is the only solution.

I’ve had the proverbial wind knocked out of me more than a couple of times because I’d chosen to stand too close to the line of fire aimed at me. Although I’d done all I could do to stand my ground and let it be known that I was not going to falter, I was still too close, letting my opposition know my moves and plans through mutual connections I thought I could trust. This will not be the case in the days to come even if that means isolating myself until I get to where I need to be to turn everything around. Those who understand know this is necessary for my mental and emotional health. Those who don’t will readily be offended for their own personal reasons. Either way, it’s what I know will benefit me most and so it will be done.

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