Contradictions of Life

In my feeble and brief attempt to “get myself together” a friend advised me to look for work outside of my experience scope and pay grade. Of course this friend didn’t suggest this because they don’t love me and want the best, it’s just that we live in a society where going along to get along is most often the accepted norm. Any job is better than no job, right? As long as it pays the bills (or some of then anyway), in this economy where so many are struggling you can’t afford to be too picky, right? Although I’m grateful and appreciative of the counsel I couldn’t understand why I was being expected to settle for less than we both know I can achieve, or even more important, less than I wanted. It’s funny how we surround ourselves with mantras against this yet do so every day of our lives out of fear. Better to have a piece of something than nothing, right? Unfortunately, I have to truly enjoy what I do in order for me to even engage my energies or it ends up bring a lose-lose situation for everyone involved.

Where did we first get the notion of settling and why do we push it on each other like a rehashed religious practice? I can remember being told I could be anything I wanted while growing up, yet that doesn’t seem to be the encouragement we give each other as adults. Deny creativity for security in a world where you can only be safe or sorry is the message we convey to one another. There’s no middle ground where we are comfortable and happy being, doing, or being with what/who we love it seems. I guess it’s assumed that once you reach a certain age if you haven’t built that foundation to start with then you missed the boat and have to settle for whatever is left for you to stitch together. And be happy with that. Any wonder why we’re such a depressed nation?

I can’t settle in a Universe of endless possibility and I don’t understand why anyone else would either. I know I won’t be happy all the time but I owe it to myself to experience all the joy I can create in the “short” time I have to be here. I am worth that. So settling will never be an option, whether it be a job, a man, or something as simple as my dinner choice. This position may cause struggles and lonely nights periodically, but at least I can find satisfaction in knowing I stayed true to my abilities and desires.

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